A NORMAL Family!
by Scarlet-Nin
Summary: Modern AU Allen lives together with Lenalee, Kanda, Lavi and Link. Suddenly Allen s family decided to visit him. At 6 in the morning. Well, Allen never said his Family was normal or sane. He was certain his Friends weren t ready for his Family, but who was? WHAT? Someone brought Photo books and Videos of their Family? No way are his Friends going to see them! Not if he can help it!
1. Chapter 1

„Speaking"

„ _Thoughts"_

Disclaimer: I don´t own -Man!

Info: Allen, Kanda, Link, Lavi and Lenalee are living together. Modern AU.

Chapter 1

It was a Sunday. Sun rays fell on Allen´s face. He felt how something was lying on top of him. He still had his eyes closed.

„ _Damn, Timcampy again."_ Allen thought grumpy. He wasn´t a morning person. His cat always did that. He always woke him up. He petted it´s head. As Allen ran his hands through what he thought was Tim´s fur, he heard a loud : „WHAT THE FUCK?!" from outside.

„ _Great Bakanda´s screaming again. What is it this time_?" Allen thought annoyed. He heard something break outside. He sighed. Then something was moving on his chest and it giggled. Allen stopped his petting.

„ _Wait, Tim doesn´t giggle."_ Allen thought suspicious. He was getting nervous. That thing on his stomach wasn´t Timcampy…

Allen opened his eyes. He saw that a girl was lying on him. She had short spiky Pink hair. Her Golden eyes danced in amusement. She had a grin on her face.

They ignored the background noises. **CRASH! CRACK!**

Allen blinked a few times. His eyes hadn´t adjusted to the light yet. „Road…what are you doing _here_?" He asked in confusion. He still wasn´t really awake. Road giggled again and leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

The door slammed open. **SLAM!**

Link and Lavi were standing at the door. They were in their Pijama´s. Their hair was messy. They were looking shocked and horrified. Link´s jaw was dropped. His eyes were big like dinner plates. Lavi was frozen. He looked like a stone figure. They saw how a short girl was kissing Allen. And he _wasn´t pushing her off_.

Allen´s eyes were wide open in horror. He was definitely awake _**now**_.

„Oh my GOD! YUU! LENA! Allen´s getting raped by a girl shorter than him!" Lavi yelled in panic. He had his hands in his hair. He didn´t

„W-Walker, K-Kiss" Link could only stutter in shock. He didn´t belief what he was seeing.

„Good for the Beanstalk! I have other Problems!" They heard Kanda yell. Then there was screaming.

„Fuck, Where´s Road? Who let Road near the Boy again?" A male voice yelled. There was more screaming.

„NOO! MY NEPHEW!" An other male voice cried in horror. They heard running and a young man with spiky, short dark red hair, came in. He wasn´t really tall. He was dragging a tall red haired man with him. The second man looked pissed off.

The shorter man pushed Lavi and Link to the side and ran over to Allen. The girl, Road drew back and hugged Allen, before she jumped of him. Allen wasn´t reacting to anything. The male glared at Road and began to shake Allen by the shoulders.

„ALLEN! WAKE UP! Uncle is here! Allennn!" He whined, while he shook Allen like a rag doll. The taller redhead, took out Cigarettes and sighed.

„Retard, let him go. He´s going to throw up. Why did you even drag me here?" He demanded. He was in a very bad mood. He glared at the shorter redhead.

The other stopped shaking Allen and instead hugged him. He looked over tot he other. „ _Be-cau-se_! Allen didn´t pick up his phone and we got worried! And we all wanted to meet the people who lived with him." The man stated like it was obvious and the other was stupid. His tone was mockingly.

The taller one growled. „Maybe he didn´t pick up his phone because it´ **s 6:15 a.m**?! You fucking Imbecile? And you _dragged_ me here!" he spat.

The other man looked offended. „Marian! Watch your language!" he scolded like a mother would her child. The other man looked ready for murder.

„Neah, get of me. _Now_." Allen demanded. He got himself together. Neah let go of him. Allen stood up. His hair was a bit wavy and messy. He glared at them. The shorter redhead, Neah shrunk back.

„HIIII! That Bitch! She kicked me! That fucking hurt!" a high pitched male voice screamed. Allen ran out into the living room. The others walked after him.

The living room was a Chaos.

The pillows were all over the room, the table flipped over. Kanda was standing there, he had his sword in his hand. It was pointed towards a big bulky man. They were glaring at each other.

Lenalee stood over with her leg raised high in the air. Her hair was messy and she glared down at the boy. A teenager was on the ground. He had long blonde hair. He wore Makeup (eyeliner) and his mouth was sewed shut. He wore a black tank top and tight long black pants. He looked pained. He was holding his crouch.

Another teen was standing behind him. He was aiming a golden pistol at Lenalee. He had black short hair, wore makeup (eyeliner) and was dressed in completely black. He glared at her.

A young woman with hair in a low ponytail was sitting on the Couch. She had Timcampy in her lap and was petting him. She wore black pants and a white blouse.

A White haired boy was hiding behind the Couch. He was rather short. He looked nervously at the sword. He wore a long purple white striped scarf around his forehead. He had white pants on and a black shirt.

A man with long wavy black black hair in a low ponytail, was leaning against the kitchen counter.

Their kitchen was right next to their living room. It was an open kitchen.

He had a mole under his left eye. He wore a white shirt and brown pants. He looked annoyed. He was pushing a bigger man away.

The other man was trying to hug him. He too wore a long black low ponytail. He had two strands of hair that stood up from his face.

Allen´s eye twitched. His bangs covered his eyes. You could feel how his anger built up. Neah and the other redhead backed away. The black haired teen noticed Allen first. He stopped glaring at Lenalee and went over to Allen.

„That bitch over there kicked Jasdero! Say something!" he complained while he laid a hand on Allen´s shoulder. Allen looked up and gave him a death glare.

The teen flinched back and hid behind Wisley. He was crying a bit.

„Neah! Allen´s grumpy again! Do something!" he cried. Neah took a few steps back and held his hands up in surrender. He shook his head quickly.

„No way! I don´t have a death wish!" Neah refused. The others finally noticed them.

„ _Why are you here_? No, wait, what made you **think** it would be a _good_ _idea_ to come here at **6 o´clock in the morning**? People _sleep_." Allen hissed in anger. The others flinched a bit.

Kanda, Link, Lenalee and Lavi looked confused. Lenalee lowered her leg. Kanda still had his sword aimed.

Allen sighed loudly and walked over to Kanda. He pushed his sword down. Kanda glared at him.

„What the hell´s going on Beanstalk?" he growled. It was 6 in the morning. No normal person would be happy if some unknow people broke into their house.

Allen rolled his eyes. „They are my Family, so no attacking!" he replied. Lavi chocked. His eye was wide open.

„Family? You don´t look alike! They all have tanned skin with the exception of Cross over there!" Lavi cried out. He pointed a finger towards the tall redhead.

Cross scowled. „Point at me again and you will lose your Fingers, Cyclops." He threatened. Lavi jumped back and held his hands. Cross was like he remembered him. Rude, terrifying and intimidating.

Link rubbed his temple. „Walker, please explain." He stated annoyed. It was _not_ normal that family broke into your home like that. Only Komui did that. Till _now_ that is.

Allen gestured that they should all sit down. After everyone sat down and Jasdero had a icepack, Allen introduced them.

He pointed at Road. „That´s Road Kamelot, my Cousin. She likes candy, dolls and can be sadistic. So please be careful." Allen advised. Road pouted a little. The man with the low ponytail squealed.

„So cute!" he yelled. Link, Lavi, Kanda and Lenalee looked at him weirdly. The man with the mole under the eye sighed.

„Why must you be so embarrassing?" he whined. The man looked offended. „Are you jealous, dear little brother? Don´t worry, I think you look cute too!" the man comforted. The other looked sickened.

„The older one is Sheril Kamelot, Road´s father." Allen explained. He pointed to the other man next.

„That´s Tyki Mikk over there. Sheril´s little brother. He likes poker, even if he always loses to me, and smoking." Allen ignored Tyki´s protest and just continued.

„Lulubell, is over there petting Tim, she really likes cats." He added.

„That´s Wisley Kamelot. The little brother of Road. He is really good at reading the thoughts of people." Allen pointed at the other whitehead. Wisley smiled proudly.

„The black haired one is Devitto and the blonde is Jasdero. They´re Twins." Allen stated. His roommates looked at him stunned.

„Hiii! Together.."began Jasdero with a yell.

„we…" Devitto continued.

„Are JASDEVI!" they ended together. They had their arms over each others shoulders.

Allen face palmed. „Yes, we are sorry to say they are stupid." Road confessed. The twins looked insulted, before they could start an argument Allen cut them off.

„That big man over there is Skin Boric, he likes anything sweet." Allen stated with a loud voice. He continued.

„The short redhead over there is Neah Walker, my crazy, clingy uncle and you know Cross." Allen ended.

Neah looked depressed till Cross hit him over the head. Neah frowned at him.

„So why did your family come here this early Allen?" Lenalee inquired a bit angry. Too early, she added in her mind.

Allen snorted. „Because I didn´t answer my phone and they wanted to meet you." He said with disapprovel. Kanda growled.

„Great, now that we know that your family is nuts, can they leave? It´s to early for this shit." He barked. He didn´t have his tea in the morning. Allen laughed sarcastically. „Good luck with that. You can´t get ride of them." He assured.

„Why are you so mean?" Neah complained. Cross hit him over the head again. „Maybe because we came at _6 o´ clock in the_ fucking _morning_?" he stated with sarcasm. Neah pouted.

„I think your family is ….unique, Al." Lavi stated with a wry grin. That family creeped him out. Tyki grinned. „Thanks."

Road looked at Lenalee. „You know, you would make a pretty doll!" she stated with a sharp smile. Lenalee looked at her freaked out. She tried to smile.

„T-Thank you." She replied. She sat a bit farther away from her.

Allen sighed. „Road." He complained. Road struck her tongue out. Link sat up straighter.

„When she´s your cousin, why did she kiss you?" Lavi was wondering about that too, but didn´t dare ask.

„Because I love him!" Road declared with a grin. You could hear Sheril crying in the background.

„It won´t work if you change locks." Wisley suddenly said. Kanda looked over to him. „How I did that?" Wisley stated with a smirk. Kanda suddenly had the urge to wring his neck.

„He can read your thoughts, don´t bother, he doesn´t know a thing about privacy." Tyki said lazyly. Kanda scowled at them.

„Idiot or Brat whatever you don´t prefer, tell your Retard of an uncle to stop dragging me to places." Cross just lightened a Cigarette. „Next time I will shot him." He promised. Neah grabbed his chest, like he was in pain.

„You are so mean Maria-!" he began, but was cut of by a phone ringing. Neah took out his phone. He paled.

„It´s Adam." Neah announced. The others tensed up. Allen smiled. „I knew you didn´t tell him. Have fun." He said darkly. His roommates looked at him for an explanation, but he shook his head and held a finger in front of his lips.

Neah answered the call. „NEAH~. WHERE ARE YOU? THE OTHERS AREN´T HERE TOO~!" a voice panicked voice screamed. Neah winced and held the phone away from his ear.

„Adam, we are in Allen´s home." Neah said quickly to stop him from going hysteric.

„Oh, why didn´t you say so first~? And why did nobody wake me up~? I will come over~!" Adam said cheerfully. Neah quickly whispered in the phone. „Bring the box with the photo books and childhood videos with you!" Neah wanted to show Allen´s roommates their Family photo´s and Videos. When they would be worthy that is. He would test them. Neah held back a dark grin.

Adam agreed and ended the call.

It was silent.

„Sprout, how does he know where we live?" Kanda asked with a frown. Allen told them that he only said Cross and Neah where he lived.

„How should I know? He just does." Allen answered dryly. It was silent again.


	2. Chapter 2

„Speaking"

„ _Thoughts"_

Disclaimer: I don´t own -Man!

Chapter 2

„ _Now, let´s begin the Plan."_ Neah thought to himself while he smiled sadistically. He put on his best fake smile. Cross looked at him and hit him over the head. Neah pouted.

„What was _that_ for?" Neah whined. He didn´t do anything! Cross snorted. „ I know your up to something! Stop that creepy smile!" Cross growled. Neah raised a eyebrow.

„I don´t know what your talking about…HEY! My smile isn´t creepy!" Neah defended. He looked insulted.

„If that makes you sleep better at night, but it isn´t good to lie Neah." Road teased with a grin. Cross chuckled.

„That smile is the reason why, the brat didn´t have friends, Retard." Cross said amsued. He looked at Allen. „Brat, where´s the Alcohol?" he asked. Neah chocked.

„Allen doesn´t have Al-!" he protested, but Allen cut him of. Allen pointed at the Chimney. They didn´t use it very often so he hid his secret bottles there. Never knew when Cross would show up.

„There." Allen answered. Cross smirked and stood up. You could hear Neah crying in the background.

„What the fuck? Since when did you hide Alcohol there? What would you have done if the Baka found it?!" Kanda growled. Lavi looked disappointed. „Why didn´t you tell me, Al?" Lavi complained. Lenalee looked at him with disapproval. Link had a frown on his face.

„I heard Rabbit is delicious!" Allen cheered. Lavi shrunk back.

Cross took a bottle of wine and sat back down.

„How long do you know each other? It must have been a really _longgg_ time, Neah wouldn´t have let Allen live with people he just met." Road asked. She was curious. Allen always was against them meeting his friends. Not that she could be mad at him for that. It was understandable.

„I, three years." Lenalee answered without hesitation. Link and Lavi nodded. Kanda just tch´ed.

Road nodded in approval and sat back. Kanda, Lenalee, Link and Lavi felt like if they gave the wrong answer nobody would see them again. _Ever_.

„Do you know about his Arm?" Tyki inquired. He had a sharp smile on his face. Lavi sat up straighter. He narrowed his eye.

„ _Of_ _course_ we know." He stated like it was obvious. He felt the other stares on him. Like they were judging him. He felt a shiver but he wouldn´t back down.

„You don´t have a problem with it, _right_?" Lulubell said emotionless. She had the gaze of a cat that waited to pounce. Like if one of them gave them the wrong answer they would be _never_ _seen_ _again_.

Lavi shoot her a look. „No! He would _kill_ us! Do you know how much _strength_ he has in that Arm!?" He cried out. Allen hit him once, _lightly_ , he had a black bruise on his arm for _2 weeks_!

Lenalee shoved her elbow in his rips. She gave them a serious look. „What he means is that the last time someone _insulted_ him about his Arm, he wasn´t seen again." She explained with a satisfied smile. Road looked at her in approval.

Kanda had a smirk on his face. He looked at his sword with a strange emotion. Like he was _proud_ of something?!

„I never knew what happened to him, you did something to him didn´t you?" Allen stated dryly. Lenalee smiled at him innocently. „Why did you think _that_?" she stated in fake confusion. Allen shot her a look.

„I heard he went to a Asylum for crazy people." Allen stated with a frown. Link looked away, while Lavi had a grin on his face, Kanda petted Mugen and Lenalee shrughed.

The twins laughed. „We like you!" they said together. The other Noah relaxed a bit.

Tyki had a dark grin on his face. Neah went to open his mouth but he was interrupted by the doorbell.

 **DING! DING! DING! DING!**

Allen stood up and went to get the door. He opened it and saw Adam stand there with a box. He had a big smile on his face.

„Good to see you Allen~!" he greeted cheerfully. Allen took the box and went back to the living room, after he greeted Adam.

„ _YOU_!" Allen growled at Neah. Neah hid behind Cross. The others flinched a bit at the tone.

„What´s that Walker?" Link inquired in interest. Allen stopped glaring at Neah for a moment and shook his head. „ _Nothing_." He hissed. He hugged the box protectively to his chest.

Adam came in and greeting them.

„Hello~! You are the ones who take care of my dear Ally~?" Adam asked fondly. Lavi laughed. Kanda smirked in amusement. Link coughed to hide his laugh and Lenalee giggled.

Allen was bright red in the face. „Don´t _call_ me that!" Allen yelled in embarrassment.

„Your Family can come here again, if they embarrass you like that _every_ _time_." Kanda stated. Allen shot him a scowl.

Adam sat down and took the box back from Allen. Allen tried to lunge at him to get the box back but was pulled back by Kanda. Adam chuckled and took a video tape out and began to play it on the TV.

„Oh god…." Allen moaned. The other Noah´s grinned.

„We will show you a few Family moments!" Road yelled in excitement.

The tape began to play.

 **Tape 1**

There was a young boy with short brown hair. He had big silver eyes. He looked like he was 4 years old. He looked up at a younger Cross. Cross looked down on him.

„What ya want Shorty?" Cross asked with a growl. Little Allen looked up at him with a blank face. Then he kicked him between the legs.

 _ **KICK!**_

Cross went to the ground.

The Camera began shaking.

„HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The one who held the Camera was laughing his ass off. The Camera was given away to someone. A younger version of Road was in the picture for a short moment. She was filming.

Neah was on the ground laughing. His arms were around his stomach. He was red it the face from it. The Camera turned back to Allen and Cross.

„GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT!" Cross roared. He chased after Little Allen, but Allen was faster. Allen smirked while he ran.

 **The Tape ended.**

„Hahahaha!" Neah was laughing again. Cross kicked him. Allen´s roommates looked at him stunned.

Allen blushed. „I-I-It was just Reflex!" he yelled. This was so embarrassing!

He crossed his arms and looked away. Kanda snorted. "What kid would kick someone between the legs, the first time they saw someone new?" He asked with a smirk. Allen growled.

He pointed at Neah. "He told me, if someone was rude to me or looked like a Creep I should kick them as hard as I could!" He tried to defend himself. Lenalee giggled, while Lavi laughed and Link hid a smile behind his hand.

"So it was _**you**_ after all that told the Brat to kick me?" Cross asked dangerously. Neah chuckled nervously and backed away. Adam clapped his hands. "Now, now. Be _nice_. You wouldn´t want Allen´s friends to have a horrible opinion of you, _would you_ ~?" Adam said sweetly, but to all Noah´s it was a warning. They quieten down.

Adam began to play the next tape.

 **TAPE 2**

"Aww, isn´t he cute?" came a voice that wasn´t heard before. A face like Neah´s just with longer hair was in the view of the camera. A grin was painted on the man´s face. The perspective changed and you could see little Allen. He held his arms up to a younger Cross. His big Silver eyes were pleading. Puppy dog eyes were full on.

You heard Cross sigh and he picked Allen up. Allen smiled brightly. Cross suddenly smirked and threw Allen high up in the air. He caught him again. "Higher! Higher!" Allen cheered childishly.

"CROSS MARIAN!" screamed the man from before. The Camera dropped to the ground and the perspective was tilted upside down.

Cross run with Allen in his arms. The man began throwing _knifes_ after Cross. You could see the panic written over Cross´s face. Allen only laughed. "Damnit it Mana! You crazy psycho! The Brat is okay, so _stop_! What if you accidently hit _him_!?" Cross yelled while he picked up his peace. He had the hope that Mana would stop if he knew that he endangered Allen. A knife cut his cheek.

The man known as Mana only giggled darkly. "Don´t worry~! I have had _lots_ of _practice_ at the Circus! I _won´t_ hit my dear son!" He assured with a dark grin. Allen only cheered Mana on.

"ON WHO´S SIDE ARE YOU BRAT!?" Cross roared annoyed. Allen´s eyes began to water and he sniffed. Mana saw that and began to chase Cross more fiercely.

"YOUR DEAD MARIAN! DEAD! Don´t cry, Allen! Daddy will save you~!" Mana cried out with a sadistic smile. Allen hid his head in Cross´s shoulder. He smirked evilly. Cross growled at him. "Damn, Devil!" Cross muttered to himself. A knife struck his leg. He winced.

"I heard _that_!" Mana roared angry. His son was _not_ a devil! His Allen was the opposite! An angel, a rude and sassy one at times, but _still_ an angel!

Cross cussed and rolled his eyes.

They finally were out of the picture of the Camera. A broken noise was heard. Like a window that was shattered.

"Hey, Maria-HOLY SHIT! MANA STOP!" a voice that sounded like Neah cried. A few screams were heard and pained yells.

 **END OF THE TAPE 2**

Road was giggling like crazy. The other Noah´s were laughing too. Neah and Allen had sad but at the same time amused smiles on their faces. Cross grimaced at the tape _. "That was totally overreacted by that Idiot."_ He thought with a twitch. It was a painful experience for him. He won´t go into detail to what happened after the tape.

Lavi chuckled. "Man, Allen sure was evil. Now I know where you got your dark side from!" He commented with a grin. These tapes where _so_ funny! Why didn´t he show them these videos? They after all had a photo album too! Even if Kanda tried his hardest to not be on the photos.

It was surprising what Allen´s blackmail, their friend Alma´s look and Lenalee´s kicks and their combined threats could make Kanda do.

"Always knew that the Beansprout was messed up. Even as a kid." Kanda smirked amused. Link had a smile on his face. "That was low Walker, even for you." He said halfheartedly in a scolding tone. He heard from his Uncle Levileer that Cross Marian was a horrible man.

Lenalee laughed. "You know, we could have invited Komui too! He would have loved to see that he isn´t the only overprotective guy around here!" She stated with a grin. Allen smiled a wry smile.

"Well, Mana isn´t around anymore so he would have to be satisfied with the others here." Allen said with a strained smile. The room turned quiet. Lenalee looked horrified at what she unconsciously said. She didn´t mean to hurt Allen! No way!

The others locked panicked.

Link quickly stood up and walked into the kitchen. "W-What sweets would you like to eat, Walker?!" Link wanted to try to cheer Allen up and Sweets were normally one of the best ways. Allen perked up a bit. "Mirarashi Dango, please~!" Allen cheered. Lenalee and the others sighed in relief.

Kanda pinched Allen´s cheek. "You are going to be fat if you continue to eat like that." He teased with a smug smile. Allen made a noise of protest and swatted Kanda´s hands away. He shot Kanda a pout.

Lavi threw an arm around Allen´s shoulders. "Yuu, you know that Allen could eat an army, if he wanted to." Lavi said playfully. "Tch. True." Kanda let his given name slide for now. But only because he wouldn´t deal with a depressed and disappointed Beansprout. It was pathetic every time he was like that.

The Noah´s and Cross watched with surprised expressions. They saw how Allen´s friends immediately tried their best to cheer him up. Maybe they wouldn´t have to be scared away after all.


End file.
